When I stood in front of the mirror, I was not only facing my body, but also “Miss Spoon” and other sarcastic names I was called for having short stature. It felt as if I was finally letting those labels off my shoulders, and I felt lighter. I always felt targeted; and that’s why I chose to stay at home, hiding from people as I was unable to expect what they could possibly call me.

I was always invited to audition for acting in soap operas and films in Lebanon. However, once the directors noticed my leg and the device that I use, they would become evasive. I have one leg shorter than the other as I was born with a condition called “Limb Length Discrepancy”. Two years ago, I started suffering from osteoporosis, and became unable to use the device, thus, I started using a wheelchair.  

I was forced into my first sexual intercourse at the age of 12. My father was an alcoholic and tried to rape me. I managed to evade him as much as possible, but the aggression continued.  

I tried to inform the security forces, because I was aware of what was happening, but instead of arresting him, they arrested me, and I was threatened not to mention the rape incident again. 

I live with my children and my husband, but I do not remember them. Our society considers a woman insane and without a personality if she suffers from amnesia. I have a clear memory going from my childhood to the day of my engagement, but I do not have any glimpses of all the events following that day. 

I am the mother of a child with a physical motor disability and the wife of a man with a sensory disability. I am telling my story to highlight the injustice of this society.  

For several times, I was beaten by members of my family, notably my little brother who would get angry at me and hated my disability, although he also had a motor disability himself. Once he asked me: Why does your right leg look like that? So I told him that we look alike and that he didn't have to make fun of me. 

I thought marriage would save me from my family, especially from my brother, who denied me my right to study, work, and communicate with the outside world, because I am a girl, and in his opinion, girls should stay home. Every time I revolted against his approach, he would beat me up. 

I was born with a motor disability, my mother took complete care of me and protected from the outside world, to a point I became isolated. When my mother died, I found myself deprived from her help and unable to integrate into a society with a patriarchal mindset. I tried living my life my way, despite all the obstacles hindering me, including physical violence.