For years, most women with disabilities have lost the opportunity to integrate into the Lebanese society. When they apply for jobs, no one is interested in exploring their real capacities in working and being productive. Moreover, they are often subjected to prejudice, as indicated by one of the workers in the kitchen, based on their disability, which requires them to perform fewer tasks and be paid a lower salary compared to other workers.

When I stood in front of the mirror, I was not only facing my body, but also “Miss Spoon” and other sarcastic names I was called for having short stature. It felt as if I was finally letting those labels off my shoulders, and I felt lighter. I always felt targeted; and that’s why I chose to stay at home, hiding from people as I was unable to expect what they could possibly call me.

I was forced into my first sexual intercourse at the age of 12. My father was an alcoholic and tried to rape me. I managed to evade him as much as possible, but the aggression continued.  

I tried to inform the security forces, because I was aware of what was happening, but instead of arresting him, they arrested me, and I was threatened not to mention the rape incident again. 

I live with my children and my husband, but I do not remember them. Our society considers a woman insane and without a personality if she suffers from amnesia. I have a clear memory going from my childhood to the day of my engagement, but I do not have any glimpses of all the events following that day. 

I am the mother of a child with a physical motor disability and the wife of a man with a sensory disability. I am telling my story to highlight the injustice of this society.  

For several times, I was beaten by members of my family, notably my little brother who would get angry at me and hated my disability, although he also had a motor disability himself. Once he asked me: Why does your right leg look like that? So I told him that we look alike and that he didn't have to make fun of me. 

I thought marriage would save me from my family, especially from my brother, who denied me my right to study, work, and communicate with the outside world, because I am a girl, and in his opinion, girls should stay home. Every time I revolted against his approach, he would beat me up. 

I was born with a motor disability, my mother took complete care of me and protected from the outside world, to a point I became isolated. When my mother died, I found myself deprived from her help and unable to integrate into a society with a patriarchal mindset. I tried living my life my way, despite all the obstacles hindering me, including physical violence.