Haifa: From Chains of Abuse to Streets of Survival
Haifa
Haifa is thirty-two years old.
Ever since she was a kid, she has had to endure abuse at the hands of her father.
He would always mock her appearance, saying, "You look like a woman, your eyebrows, face, and eyelashes are like those of faggots." He poured all his efforts into making her more "masculine", and enrolled her in a boarding school where she faced bullying from teachers and classmates alike. Her father prevented her from continuing her education after seventh grade, and tried to pressure her into joining the police, hoping it would force her into the masculine role he always wanted.
Haifa is thirty-two years old.
She has been subjected to multiple instances of rape. The first time was by her mothers relative while she was working for him in a sewing workshop. He asked her to accompany him to his sister's house, locked the door, and raped her.
"He threatened to tell my father, and I was afraid, so I went with him, and he raped me again," Haifa says. The second time, it was done by two of her brother’s friends. They took her to the cemetery, claiming that her brother had been stabbed there, but when she arrived, her brother was nowhere in sight. They assaulted her, put a gun to her head, and said, "Suck, you whore," while filming her.
Haifa is thirty-two years old.
The first time she managed to escape from home, her brother and brother-in-law found her. "They shaved my hair and eyebrows and beat me." She was tied to the bed for three days before she could escape. "I told my sister that I needed to use the bathroom and couldn't wait for my brother-in-law to return. When she untied the ropes, I fled." She came to Beirut and never returned to her family's house. She slept on the streets and in building entrances, constantly moving from one place to another. Haifa encountered a passing Trans* woman who welcomed her into her house, only to assault and rape her, forcing her into sex work. She returned to the streets once again, saying, "I started doing sex work just to find a place to sleep, eat, and drink."
In Beirut, Haifa met her boyfriend, with whom she had been in a relationship for twelve years. Two years ago, he tried to kill her by hitting her and attempting to cut into her. He also held a knife to her neck. In response, she filed a complaint against him. She met a powerful man through Tiktok, who began stalking and harassing her from multiple accounts,and started threatening her for not responding to him. He said “May God never let me see you in chains, or the worst will happen.” But that was exactly what happened to her when security forces raided her house and arrested her on charges of blackmailing that man.
During the investigations, she was humiliated and harassed by two members of the internal security forces. In her loneliness, Haifa decided to return to her boyfriend and dropped the charges against him.
Haifa has ten siblings, five brothers, and five sisters. Her male siblings abused her, while her female siblings ostracized her, all except for one. Regarding her relationship with her boyfriend who tried to kill her, she says, "At least he asks about me and cares for me. I have no one else, and maybe he’s changed.”
Today, Haifa is thirty-two years old. She left her monstrous home, just to find that the horrors of the outside world are just as scary.
تبلغ هيفا اثنين وثلاثين عاماً، قاست تعنيف والدها خلال طفولتها، كان دائماً ما يهزأ من مظهرها، معلقاً: ”شكلك متل النسوان، حواجبك ووجّك ورموشك متل اللواط“. بذل كلّ طاقته ليجعلها ”زلمي“ بحسبه، وألحقها بمدرسة داخلية، حيث كانت تتعرض للتنمّر من قبل المعلّمات وزملائها في الصفّ. منعها والدها من إتمام دراستها بعد صفّ السابع، وحاول أن يضغط عليها للالتحاق بسلك الدرك علّها تصبح أكثر ذكورة.
تعرّضت هيفا للاغتصاب مرّات عديدة، الأولى من قبل أحد أقرباء والدتها، كانت تعمل عنده في معمل خياطة، طلب منها الذهاب معه عند شقيقتها، أقفل الباب عليها واغتصبها. كرّر الأمر مجدداً، ”هددني بإخبار والدي، خفت وذهبت معه واغتصبني مرّة تانية“، تقول هيفا. المرّة الثانية فعلها اثنان من أصدقاء أخيها، ”أخذاني إلى المقبرة بذريعة أن أخي تعرّض للضرب بسكين وهو في المقبرة، حين وصلت لم أجد أخي، قاما بضربي ووضعا مسدساً في رأسي، وصارا يقولان لي: ”مص يا عرصة“، وقاما بتصويري“.
في المرّة الأولى التي هربت فيها من المنزل، عثر عليها أخوها وصهرها، ”حلقا شعري وحواجبي وضرباني“، تقول هيفا أنها رُبطت بالسرير لمدّة ثلاثة أيام قبل أن تستطيع الهرب، ”قلت لأختي أنني بحاجة لاستعمال الحمام ولا أستطيع الانتظار حتى عودة صهري، حين قامت بفكّ الحبال هربت“. جاءت إلى بيروت ولم تعد بعدها إلى بيت ذويها. كانت تنام في الشوارع ومداخل البنايات منتقلةً من مكان إلى آخر. تعرّفت هيفا على امرأة عابرة، استقبلتها في منزلها، قبل أن تقوم بالاعتداء عليها واغتصابها وإجبارها على العمل الجنسي. عادت مرة أخرى إلى الشارع، ”صرت أعمل في الجنس حتى أجد مكاناً لأنام فيه وآكل وأشرب.“
في بيروت، اجتمعت هيفا بحبيبها وهي على علاقة به منذ ١٢ سنة. قبل عامين، حاول قتلها، ضربها وحاول قطع شرايينها، كما حزّ عنقها بالسكين. فما كان منها إلا أن قامت بتقديم شكوى ضدّه. تعرّفت عبر تطبيق تيك توك على رجل صاحب نفوذ، بدأ يلاحقها من عدّة حسابات ويضايقها حتى صار يهددها لعدم تجاوبها معه، ”قال لي الله لا يخلّيني إذا ما بشوفك مكلبشة“، وهذا ما وقع بالفعل، داهمت قوى الأمن منزلها واعتقلتها بتهمة ابتزازها ذلك الرجل. خلال التحقيقات، تعرّضت للإذلال والتحرش من قبل عنصرين من قوى الأمن الداخلي. في عزّ وحدتها، قرّرت هيفا أن تعود لحبيبها، فأسقطت عنه الدعوى المرفوعة ضدّه.
لهيفا عشرة إخوة، خمسة شباب وخمس نساء. عنّفها إخوتها الذكور، أما الإناث يقاطعونها باستثناء واحدة. عن علاقتها بحبيبها الذي حاول قتلها، تقول ”على الأقل، هو يسأل عني ويهتم بي، ليس لي سواه أحد، والآن قد تغيّر“.
Writer
Nidal Ayoub
Photographer
Ali El Sheikh
I am an independent Syrian journalist photographer, videographer, and musician based in Beirut. I have worked with numerous international organizations as well as media outlets and independent artists in providing photography and filming for various projects, such as documentaries and music videos, I have been also involved in many humanitarian and social movements and activities over the past 10 years
