Jack: Gender based violence is not gender specific
اقرأ باللغة العربية أدناه
Jack
Jack is a 32-year-old Iraqi trans man. A few months back he decided to leave Iraq and move to Lebanon to do his top surgery and spare himself and his family the social quarrels with the conservative tribal entourage, he wouldn’t find the tolerance and acceptance that would let him live comfortably with his body. He reminisces about his childhood, he remembers how he used to look different from his siblings, he always had facial hair despite the feminizing hormones prescribed by the doctor, whom he was forced to visit by his father, without considering Jack’s preference. While in Iraq, he was introduced to the queer community through social media, he maintained virtual friendships with people from Lebanon, Syria, Egypt, Morocco, Algeria and other places from the world, he couldn’t recognize members of the community where he lived due to social difficulties. He remembers one guy who was beaten to death by a bunch of fanatics who considered him “pervert” for having long hair. Jack says that the phenomenon of physical attacks on people with tattoos and long hair for being considered as “perverts” is quiet spread.
This year, Jack came to Wadi Khaled with his Syrian friend, he visited a private surgeon's clinic to perform a partial mastectomy. He recalled some of his conversations with the doctor, such as his advice to him to perform an operation to remove the remaining fat around the nipple or to go to the gym for this matter. Jack crossed the military checkpoint into northern Lebanon as a female. A week following the operation, and after having rested in the house of an acquaintance, he returned with a paper from the doctor to present it at the checkpoint, but he encountered a hostile officer who bombarded him with a barrage of questions before arresting him. In the room, the officer yelled at him: “This is a girl’s ID!”, “Yes”, Jack replied. The officer added: “But you are a young man!”, Jack remained silent. He was taken to a second room, where five officers severely beat him. They tried to take off his clothes and strip him naked, but he refused. After the torture, he explained his situation to them, revealing that he was a trans man. They confiscated and searched his phone and forced him to sign a statement without knowing its contents. In prison, he met Syrian detainees who were unable to cross the checkpoint because they only possessed copies of their original identity papers. He recalls the mockery and hurtful bullying he was subjected to by an officer, as the latter told everyone the story of Jack’s transness, in an attempt to destroy him emotionally.
He was taken with the rest of the detainees in security cars to the Lebanese-Syrian border, the soldiers fired in the air to intimidate them and forced them to climb the mountain with loads on their backs. He moved for a while to Homs, and came back to Lebanon after securing his way. He yearns for the love of a Syrian woman with whom he fell in love, and who supported him in his ordeal, wiping with the warmth of her palms the wounds of his chest. They were separated by borders, official papers, and the fear of the security services. Jack lives on the outskirts of the Lebanese capital, unemployed despite his more than a decade of experience working in a laboratory, due to his identity papers issue.
It is difficult for Jack to recall warm memories of his childhood, which were overshadowed by images of cruelty and violence. He longs for his mother, remembering her favor to him and his siblings when she sold her gold jewelry to afford food for the family. He bought his mother a ring and a bracelet, then a necklace, with the first monthly salary he ever received. He appreciates her attempt to understand and accept him. He laughs when he remembers her reaction and her shock when seeing his face via video call in their first conversation. She told him: “It is impossible, not you!” He answered her: “Yes, I changed…”, she replied to him:
“Whatever makes you comfortable my son…”
Sometimes, the mother mistakes the pronouns and misgenders him, but always manages to correct herself. Jack has always listened to an inner voice urging him to resist and persevere, which sounds clearly when he talks about violence against women and the disparity of power dynamics in light of patriarchy. This inner voice reminds him that it is impossible for the situation to last as it is, and that he will rise after every disappointment.
Jack prefers sad music, despite his openness to its different colors, especially the one that makes him contemplate and reflect on his experiences. As for sports, he loves football from a young age, and supports the Brazilian and Argentinian national teams in the World Cup.
جاك رجل عابر عراقي، يبلغ من العمر اثني وثلاثين سنة، قرر ترك العراق والانتقال إلى لبنان قبل بضعة أشهر لإجراء عملية تأكيد الجندر وتوفير عناء المواجهات الاجتماعية التي ستفرض عليه وأسرته في بيئة عشائرية محافظة، حيث سيصعب عليه إيجاد القبول ليعيش مرتاحاً مع جسده كما يحلو له. يستعيد جاك شذرات من طفولته، يتذكر اختلافه عن إخوته وأخواته، كان ينبت له شعراً في ذقنه رغم هرمونات الأنوثة التي كان يستهلكها بوصفة من الطبيب، أجبره والده على زيارة الطبيب دون سؤاله عن رغبته وميله. في العراق، اقتصر تواصله مع أفراد من مجتمع الميم-عين على المساحة الافتراضية، من لبنان وسوريا والمغرب والجزائر ومصر وسواها، دون أن يستطع التعرّف على مثليين/ات وعابرين/ات في مكان تواجده نتيجة الظروف الاجتماعية العصيبة. يستعيد قصّة شاب تم الاعتداء عليه في حرم الجامعة في كلية الفنون وضربه حتى الموت، اعتبروه ”شاذاً“ لأن شعره كان طويلاً. يقول جاك أن ظاهرة الاعتداءات التي تصل حد القتل شائعة بين الجماعات المتشددة التي ترى في الوشوم وطول الشعر علامات على” اللواط“
خلال العام الجاري، جاء جاك إلى وادي خالد مع صديقته السورية قاصداً عيادة جراح خاصة لإجراء عملية استئصال جزء من الثدي، يستعيد بعضاً من حواراته مع الطبيب، كنصيحته له بإجراء عملية لإزالة الدهون المتبقية حول الحلمة أو ارتياد النادي الرياضي. عَبَر جاك الحاجز العسكري إلى شمال لبنان بهيئة أنثى. بعد أسبوع من العملية والاستراحة في بيت أحد المعارف، عاد بورقة من الطبيب لتقديمها عند الحاجز، ولكنه اصطدم بعنصر عدائي انهال عليه بوابل من الأسئلة قبل أن يعتقله. في الغرفة قال له الضابط: ”هذه هوية بنت!“، أجابه جاك: ”نعم“، فأردف الضابط: ”ولكنك شاب!“، سكت جاك. أُدخِل إلى غرفة ثانية حيث قام خمسة عناصر بضربه ضرباً مبرحاً، حاولوا نزع ملابسه لكنّه رفض، وبعد التعذيب شرح لهم وضعه مفصحاً أنه رجل عابر. صادروا هاتفه وفتشوه، وأجبروه على توقيع محضر دون معرفة محتواه. في السجن التقى بمعتقلين سوريين لم يتمكنوا من عبور الحاجز لحيازتهم صوراً فقط عن الأوراق الثبوتية الأصلية. يستذكر الاستهزاء والتنمر الجارح الذي تعرّض له من قبل عنصر حيث راح الأخير يخبر الداخل والخارج عن قصة عبور جاك في محاولة لتدميره معنوياً
نقلته سيارات الأمن وسائر المعتقلين إلى الحدود اللبنانية السورية، وقام العناصر بإطلاق النار في الهواء لترهيبهم وإجبارهم على صعود الجبل بالأحمال على ظهورهم، صعدوا هائمين على وجوههم، يبحثون عن مهرّب يخلصّهم بحذاقته من الحواجز العسكرية. انتقل لبعض الوقت إلى حمص، ثم أمّن لاحقاً طريق العودة إلى لبنان. يحنّ إلى حبّ امرأة سورية شغفت قلبه، وساندته في محنته، ماسحة بدفء كفّيها جروح صدره، فرّقتهم الحدود والأوراق الرسمية ورهاب الأجهزة الأمنية. يعيش جاك في أطراف العاصمة اللبنانية، متعطلاً رغم تجربته التي تفوق العقد من الزمن في العمل ضمن المختبر، وذلك بسبب أزمة أوراقه الثبوتية
يصعب على جاك استعادة ذكريات دافئة من طفولته التي هيمنت عليها صور القسوة والعنف، تعتريه المرارة لدى الحديث عن والده فيما يستذكر مواقف الضرب والتعذيب العالقة بذهنه. يحنّ لأمه، يذكر فضلها عليه وإخوته حين قامت ببيع حليّها الذهبية لتوفير المال للأسرة. ابتاع لوالدته خاتماً وسواراً ثم سلسالاً بأوّل معاش شهريّ قبضه، يقدّر لها محاولتها لتفهمه وتقبّله، يضحك عندما يستذكر ردّة فعلها وصدمتها لدى رؤية وجهه عبر الفيديو في أول مكالمة هاتفية بينهما، قالت له: ”مستحيل مو إنت!“، أجابها: ”إيه آني، تغيّرت بعد…“، فردّت عليه: ”إيه يمّا سَوّي اللي يريحك…“ تخطأ الأم أحياناً باستخدام الضمائر، فَتُؤَنِّثُ المُذَكّر، لكنها تعود وتصوّب هفوتها. لطالما استمع جاك لصوت داخلي يحثّه على الصمود والدّفاع، يصدح واضحاً عند حديثه عن العنف الممارس على النساء وتفاوت علاقات القوة في ظل الأبوية الذكوريّة، يذّكره صوته بأنّ دوام الحال من المحال، وأنه سيرفع رأسه بعد كل انحاء وخيبة. يفضّل جاك الموسيقى الحزينة رغم انفتاحه على ألوانها المختلفة، لا سيّما تلك التي تحمله على التأمل والتفكّر بتجاربه والاعتبار منها. أما في الرياضة، فيهوى كرة القدم منذ صغره، ويشجّع فريقَي البرازيل والأرجنتين في كأس العالم
Writer
Fatima Fouad
Writer
Jennifer Nadir
Photographer
Omar Gabriel
I am a Lebanese photographer and filmmaker living and working in Beirut. I obtained a degree in Cinema at Institut d'Études Scéniques Audiovisuelles (IESAV).
In 2020, I directed the documentary ‘Album’, supported by AFAC and Henrich Böll Foundation in Beirut. I has also participated in several solo and group exhibitions including 'Thaoura' at the Janine Rubeiz gallery (2019), 'Revolution' at the Beirut Center of Photography (2019), 'Lebanon then and now' by the Middle East Institute in Washington DC (2020) and 'Echoes from Lebanon' a virtual exhibition organized by I Have Learned Academy, in collaboration with KAS (Konard Adenauer Stifung) in 2021, "Anatomy of A Fall" by Collectif 1200 - In Between Festival 2022 - By the British Council in Lebanon, "Echoes from a Crowded Room" - Hammana artist house, "Stillness in the fall: FAB Festival International des Arts de Bordeaux Métropole, "Lights or shadows of what was and still is: - By Casa Arabe, Photo- Espana 2022.
My art has been covered by "Vice arabia", "TV5 monde" "France Fr", "Radio montecarlo", "L'orient le jour", "scene arabia", "plastik magazine".
My photography and filmmaking work documents human intimacy as a means of questioning social norms by sharing the stories of non-conformists in the context of their respective societies, inspired by the taboos of sexual expression in the MENA region.
Through photography and filmmaking, I dream but also resist and defy society by exploring human behavior and the prohibitions of Arab societies. My work navigates themes related to gender, sexuality by focusing on the love, the beauty and the complexity of human relationships. My work defeats the concept of Elitist art, by using it as a tool for social impact.
